read part one here
What does all of this mean for me?: The biggest thing I have learned about myself in these last (almost) 30 years is that I do better as a juggler then a uni-cyclist. I like to have a lot of plates spinning, and trust me, I didn't always do this very well. I have learned to juggle, beautifully. I am not a sitter, or a waiter, I'm a doer. I thrive when I have my hand in many things, wearing many hats. I have realized this over the years, when stuck in one job, or one role, I feel exactly that, stuck. No wiggle room. I like movement, space, jobs, roles, projects knowing who I am, how I thrive and what makes me feel alive and free, helped me to realize that is exactly the Mother I want to be: myself. I didn't want to loose myself in a role. Now before you begin to tell me that I will feel that way no matter what, I know there's a very short window in the beginning of baby's life, where I will feel like my life is all breastfeeding and changing and no sleep. I know that lasts SUCH a short while & I'm determined not to let that get me down... I will stay home for a while with our babies, to care and nurture them. But I also have a secret weapon: Rory. Now if you know my hubby you know how amazing He is. How hands on, attentive, caring and loving He is. AND how anxious He was to be a Papa. Sorry girls, He doesn't have any brothers... He is SO supportive of my journey in my education, and choosing a career for my and my children's sake. I believe that's what I've done. I've chose a career not just for my enjoyment and benefit, but for my Children, I value showing my kids that they're A: not my end all, and B: that I value helping my community and bettering myself in a field that excites me!
I know this is a lot to digest, and trust me, this has been a two (ish) year discovery for me, I know this will evolve as I become a Mom and journey into that very special part of who God created me to be.