My journey into motherhood wasn't a smooth road. I asked a lot of questions before we took the deep plunge into having a baby. I saw some Mothers around me loosing their identity in their new baby, or Child. That was something I knew I didn't want. I have made it a point to really ask hard questions about why I wanted babies, and what that meant for me, in my future. I didn't want to raise Children out of obligation to my husband or anyone for that matter. I sought out wisdom from women who I respected in my church and family. I inquired about career and children. What does it mean if I really do want to have a career and babies? What does it mean if I really don't want to home school after all? When I was younger I had my heart set on babies by 20, home schooling, and everything that comes along with that. By the time I started heading into my later 20's I started to realize that I didn't want some of the things I so closely held to, and really did want to figure out what kind of Mother I am going to be.
Careers & Mothers: I used to look down on Mom's who chose to have a career and Children. Could someone really have both? What about their kids? Their husbands? Themselves? How did these women still cook or clean? I saw a lot of bad example of women who chose career over children's needs. Their children suffered. I saw women who chose their children over all else, and their children suffered too. Where was this balance I so longed for in my heart? Was it possible to have multiple plates spinning without any of them falling? I search, prayed, wrote in my journal, sought council, and sought the Lord. What is His Will for all of
this? The way became so much clearer the more I found answers to my hearts desires. I will not live out of fear of anyone's opinions of me, or the way I chose to raise my family. I will not doubt the Lord and His power.
I hate long blog posts.... so I'm going to save the rest of this conversation for another Post.